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Articles to Share > Why I Wear Dresses

14 Apr 2003

note:  If you've read much here, you've heard me mention The MOMYS Digest (lots of times! <smile>).  This is a post I submitted to the digest to answer the question of why I wear dresses.  Someone asked me yesterday about this and so I thought it would be good to include it on this site. 


[Note:  Please notice that I am using lots of "I"s and "we"s....This is what we (our family) believe and how the Lord has convicted *us*.  I am only sharing in response to other posts regarding this subject as I don't recall anyone else sharing from this perspective.  There are probably as many versions of "dresses only" as their are MOMYS who only wear dresses <smile>.]

Through the ministries of the Patriarchs Wives email list and the Titus2.com Mom's Board the Lord began to touch my heart regarding my dress.  At the time (and for the proceeding 30+ years of my life <grin>) I only wore jeans, sweats, tshirts, sweatshirts, knit top/pant sets, longish shorts.  I only wore dresses/skirts to church on Sunday mornings!  I am not a dressy/pretty/foofoo kinda gal.  If my hair is brushed and in a ponytail and I have clothes on, that's about it!  I've never enjoyed 'hair styles' that require curling irons, hairspray, mousse, gel, etc...  I've never enjoyed wearing make-up (a whole 'nother post, I know)  I'm just not a woman who enjoys getting 'all gussied up'.  That's just me.

So, coming from that background, changing to wearing only dresses/skirts was a *huge* change!!
  When the Lord first began touching my heart regarding dressing modestly and feminely (sp?) I talked to Tony about it and he said he honestly didn't see any scriptural mandate for wearing 'dresses only'.  So, I did what I was supposed to do <grin> and just 'shut up' about it.  I didn't really mention it again and was surprised when he told me we needed to discuss it again.  He decided it was his *preference* that his wife and daughters dress in a modest way.  After much thought, he felt it was *more* modest for us to wear dresses/skirts than shorts/pants. 

Here's his thinking: 
1.  Men are visually stimuated.  Period. 
2.  As Christians, we are not supposed to be stumbling blocks (see Rom and 1 Cor). 
3.  If we (women in our family) *knowingly/purposefully* dressed in a way that brought attention to our bodies then we were being stumbling blocks.
4.  True, some men can lust after a women wearing a potato sack!
5.  But, the Lord looks on the heart and it we are honestly dressing so as to not seek/draw attention to ourselves and a man still stumbles then we are 'clear' because we did the best we could to *not* be a stumbling block.  We had a pastor once who said "the first look is grace, the second look is disgrace".  It is our goal to avoid inviting that 'second look'. 
6.  This thought hit Tony like a Mac truck...He said it dawned on him some of the thoughts that used to rush though his mind as an adolescent and it just enraged him to think of some 'hormone-happy' boy thinking nasty things about *his* precious daughters! 

We are really striving to teach our children the importance of emotional purity and dressing modestly is a very important aspect of that. 

I am *not, not, not* trying to convince any of you 'pants Momys' to change your dressing style.  I am only sharing how the Lord brought our family to this place.  I haven't really read of anyone who believes like we do for the reasons we do and wanted to show a different perspective. 

Here's something else I read once that stuck with me.  If someone sees you across a parking lot, can they tell at a glace if you are a woman or a man?  If they can't tell at first glace, their second glace will be at your bosom.  It's the only identifying mark of your sex that's visible from a distance.  Do you really want strangers staring at your bosom?

Now, for the practical aspects....*I* can do anything in a skirt that I did in pants.  I don't ride bikes or horses in skirts--but I didn't ride them in pants either <grin>.  If I were going to ride a horse, I would wear coulottes.  [Tony said "if you can't do it in a skirt, then you probably shouldn't be doing it anyway!"--I think he was talking about me climbing up on the roof or something <snort>]  I wear skirts and tshirts most all the time.  I'd love some jumpers but haven't had much luck finding or making any that fit that I can nurse in.  Everything I wear is very casual--as I said, I'm not a 'dressy' kinda gal!  I do have a couple of 'grubby' skirts that I wear for serious scrubbing and yardwork.  'Dresses only' doesn't have to mean a silk blouse, suit, hose and heels! 

I am a wimp about being cold.  A real wimp!  I hate being cold.  Last winter I bought a pair of Cuddl Duds and wore them almost every day!  I was *never* cold!  Even being outside with the wind whipping they kept me warm!  Cuddl Duds are women's long underwear that are cotton on the side next to your skin and nylon on the outside.  Your skirts just glide along and don't stick to them like my skirts would stick to leggings.  They are very thin and I was really skeptical but the Mom's on the Mom's Board really recommended them and I can tell you they are *great*--worth every $. 

Is wearing 'dresses only' a conviction for our family?  I guess it's all in how you define 'conviction'.  Someone said once that 'a conviction is something you are willing to die for'....in that light, I'd say it's a preference for us, not a conviction. 

I hope I have made myself clear.  If AnyMomy would like to email about this, please feel free.  My intent is not to anger or upset anyone--I'm not trying to persuade anyone to change--I just wanted to share our perspective on this issue and I don't want to argue with anyone.  This is my "our" "us" "we" and "I" story!  Hugs to all!

God Bless all the MOMYS (skirts/pants, long hair/short hair, makeup/no makeup, Birks/Keds---He loves us all!)

Dana Lewis